The flying albatross

2003-12-14T00:21:00.000-05:00

well I think this is going to be a last post for awhile.. No one seems to read this so I might let it close up.. I am in a really really down state of mind these days.. I dont know when I am going to come out of it but I hope soon.. Nothing seems to be going right and I feel as if I am in the same place as I was in August. Trying to figure out where I am in life.. But back in August I kinda new.. Now I am not so sure..
School this semester just sucked big time.
CMS is stressful but enjoyable at most times.
Weston has completly stopped. So Now I am stuck with big decisions to make. I might keep you all posted.. But we shall see. Until then take care to all my friends.

2003-12-07T20:21:00.000-05:00

Saturdays cms class was really a good class. We concentraited on energy work the whole class.. I knew that I would be tested hard as this was not my first look on the subject. Sure enough I was tested hard.. But I passed with flying colours.
I also have never focused so well as I did on Saturday.. I had no problem grounding and focusing at all it was great.. Finally I think I got the hang of it.

On Monday I am going to register at Concordia Univerisity for some classes. I have decided to take the medevial class in Judaica studies and the Ancient Judaism class as well.
It should be fun.

My Hanucha ritual is coming up Next Tuesday and it should be good. One person pulled out but I have found a replacement for the group..
Other than that I am back at Weston and the MPRC Till the beginning of Jan.

I have some good plans for the holiday season.
Which I cant get into. But it will be fun..

Thats it for now..

bye

2003-11-26T23:54:00.000-05:00

I went to the JPL. Jewish public library this week and did some research for the chanucha ritual I am throwing. I did some good research on the festival. I am going to tell everyone invited that they have to bring a stone and candles. They then will have to bury the stone on there own. The stone represents a defiling of the altar. The Temple by the greeks who conquered Israel. The stones also represent the hiding places of the macabees. So rocks and stones are very important to the ritual.
As most of us know chanucha is the festival of lights representing the 8 days of miracles that the macabees had. So we now bless the candles to show us light for 8 days.

I have found my personal matriarch finally. She is the great women miriam. Miriam represents Drums, water, life, midwifery, profecy, prophet, courage, strength, is there any wonder as to why I chose her. oR she chose me. I now feel more connected to my jewish roots than ever before. SOme people would argue that this is not normal judiasm. What is normal altogether? Even though my practice of judiasm is very differnt than most I am closer to my religion than ever before. I can finally practice judiasm the way I want to. It makes sense for me this way because of a great many personal reason.

Like...

Being sick as a kid.
Continuing to have many colds and flues than most people.
Having surgery
and overcoming educational stresses. (I wont go into detail about that)
I need a strong role model and miriam is very strong.

I have not progressed on Summer heat THe new world order. I plan to do alot of writing this weekend and during next week.

I went to weston this past week and they welcomed me back with open arms. I should start this week.

Take care all.

2003-11-25T22:50:00.000-05:00

I am finally over that stinking cold or flue that everyone seemed to have these past few weeks. I am back on my feet. I wound up being sick for about a month. Which is a long time in a students life.. As a result I missed a mid term exam, an oral presentation and class notes. final exams are in a few weeks. This cold left me with no time to actually catch up with the rest of the students. So...... I could only do one thing. That was to pull out and de register from the program. All this sickness that I have had reminds me of when I was younger. I used to get sick about three times a month with an ear infection or sore throat and flue.. Etc.. I had the works when I was a kid and for long periods of time... It was not nice.

Anyhow I am back on stable ground finally. Both physically and mentally and financially. Things are looking up.. I am back at weston starting full time next week. So MPRC might lose my hours for awhile. I am going to take some general interest classes at Concordia. Those are going to be Ancient Judiasm and Medival Judiasm. Both highly interesting classes to me. Today I went to the JPL to do some research on Chanucha. As I am going to have a chanucha ritual with my friends. Those of you know who you are.. :) You need to bring a stone and a small candle.

Hmmm I have started writing a fictional novel about the world coming to the end. Where people of nature beliefs have to replenish the earths energies. The earth was schorched and burned in the last war in the year 2265. I will post excerpts of chapters as soon as I have them..

I have been watching American chopper on T.V. what a kool show.
(filler)

As far as cms goes I had my first class since getting sick. I got home and my brain hurt me from all that thinking we did in class. We talked about gender roles and issues. Quite interesting. My main point for my class notes is going to be what constitutes being normal and sane. Why isnt there more tolerance in the world. Why do people have to think they are right all the time weather they are bigoted or not. ETC. Just a littlle taste of what we actually learn in class.

Well thats it for now.

ciao.

2003-11-10T08:49:00.000-05:00

Ok This has been a rather dissapointing week. I have been ill for far too long. I am starting my third week of this stupid cold and things have just gone down hill. I am going to be placed on antibiotics finally. I hope to rid my body of this rather annoying infection once and for all. I dont need this cold to dictate my life. I dictate my life. Its time to take charge and show this cold who is boss of my body. Not the cold entity which is floating in my body now. UGh. For the next couple of days until I am on my feet I will be at my mothers house recuperating. I am currently working on five hours of sleep for a three day period. I dont know how I am up at this early hour of the morning but I am. Plus I have enough will power to stop the violent caughing. The only thing I can do right now is get well. I cant worry about all the school I am missing because that will just make me even more sick. I will get all the notes and try to catch up. I at least completed my oral presentation on this used lap top. I knew the subject matter which was should day care and school staff be checked for child abuse and other mentally challenged disorders? There are even more questions which I came up with because Weston was going through this question as well. But How do you relate This question with those that are already hired? Feedback for Ideas would be nice.

Anyhow I am off. The sun is shinning today so have a wonderful day. While I caugh and sneeze.

Boy I write pretty well when I am tired stressed, and so early in the morning. Cheers.

2003-11-05T22:59:00.000-05:00

HI All. Well I am finally sort of back on line.. At least with dial up.. I have to make a decision about a pc soon.. I will do that probably with in the week.. Right now I am using my fathers Old PC which he gave me.. So I thank him for it..

All I can say is that I am sick yet again.. I had two weeks where I was ok but I am back at it. I spiked a fever and I am down for at least a week. I probably didnt get over the first cold that I had.. Oh well..

Mid terms were this week and because of this cold I could not write one of them.. I will speak to the proff and figure somthing out with him.. I hope I can.. Otherwise the rest of the mid terms went well.
I hope I am better for my CMS class on Saturday.. Time will tell..

Samhain went really well. I think we all had a good time at the ritual. The next one that I am doing is hanucha. For close friends of mine.. You know who you are cause you have all been invited already.

Anyhow thats just an update. Keep well.

2003-10-17T23:39:00.000-04:00

This week was a horrible week. I have been sick since last Friday with this cold/ Flue or whatever this is. Have had no fever for the past couple of days but my body feels weak and my muscles ach so much in every position I am in.. ITs not fun being sick. Warm baths dont even help... I am told that this last between 7-10 days. It could be longer for me as my body doesnt react well to colds in general. I was sickly as a child and whenever I got a cold it would take me alot longer to get over it than most people.. It was so infuriating and still is.. I just wish that I can get over colds easily.. That would be a dream come true.
To top it off when you feel this tired you just want to sleep. How much sleeping can you do in a day.. I just hope this is going to be over by monday.. I am not going to class tomorrow morning nor tomorrow afternoon. Right now I just feel wiped out. I will take the weekend to relax and get well to start the next week fresh.. I hope.. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers..

As far as the Horse auction last week. I missed it because I was sick.. Not fun.. As I was looking forward to it..
There will be others I know.. I just have to be patient.

As far as school goes. I have to get there soon.. I havent been there in awhile.. Jewish holidays and this cold have interviened really badly in my lifestyle. THe Holidays are thankfully over and Now this cold must vanish.

Otherwise life was getting on track nicely.

Next holiday is samhain. OCT 31. The day we celebrate the ancestors of our families.
Enjoy the week.

2003-10-11T18:59:00.000-04:00

Update on the Quebec Auction.. Via Telephone call my father tells me that the auction was a disaster. We were all expecing this but we just didn't know how much. Prices fell by at least 58 % a tremendous drop from last year.. Litwin Racing Teams goal this year is to find a third of a percentage of an Ontario bred yearling trotter in the Forest City Yearling sale. OR a third of a horse at the Harrisburgh sale in Pennsylvania. So we shall see which we will purchase in. The Forest city yearling sale will be first on the list of tries. So we shall see what happens in the near future. Even though I am sick today I put in some good horse bloodline research and I now understand how one cross is succesfull. There are many more to go but this was an important cross to understand. I am glad that I was able to figure it out.

Thank you Epona for the lesson much appreciated..

off to eat hey some appitite.. yippeee.. Soupe time.. have a good nite. all.

2003-10-11T10:15:00.000-04:00

First off let me just say this week was horrible.. Stuck home mostly with a really nice cold during the latter part of the week.. First part of the week was great.. I had a super Jewish high holiday ritual as previously mentioned.. I will conduct more of them.. (Ritual) based prayer services based on Jewish customs and practices. However I have some problems with the way certain friends and family belittle my choice of prayer.. Yes its not like most people where I attend a shul or place of worship. I'ld rather gather the knowledge and wisdom on my own or as the Irish call it connaught on my own and then interpert it in my own way shape and form.. After all relgious practice and belief is just that.. Except that within Judiac and catholisim practice you have a rabbi and or a priest interpert for you.. Who is to say that those interpertations are even correct to your moral, ethical, and value system as a whole.. These people can be way off yet people tend to not ask questions or try and find out the truth. THat is quite frusterating on my part where people just follow blindly along like a heard of sheep. I am not a heard or a flock of sheep I am my own person with my own set of thinking and morals, ethics, values.. Why should people be followers and not thought prevoking with good ideals and a self will to further the cause of peace and good thinking. This is what we are all looking forward to.. Religious philosophy can and will be studied through out the ages and who says which philosophy is wrong or right. No one can truly say. I believe in what I believe which is an off shoot of my Jewish faith combined with other beliefs and there is nothing wrong with that. SO long as I dont rape,pillage, steal I should be ok.
Live life to the fullest and dont critzise what others do. Dont call praying a thingamabob as one of my friends did. Which got me upset. Try to be tolerable towards others and if you have questions ask. We will try to answer them. WE are not evil people. We are here to help and heal
Hope you all understand a bit more. Learn and enjoy the day.

2003-10-09T21:26:00.000-04:00

I have recieved the first cold of the New year. Fever, runny nose, hacking, and all the lovely other stuffs that go with a flue. As a result I am stuck home inside for three days. UGH.. NO FUN...
That means I miss the auction on Friday night, Saturday morning. I hope I can get there on Sunday evening and on MOnday... Please say a prayer for a speedy recovery. Thanks all
Hope you have a great weekend planned.

2003-10-09T00:42:00.000-04:00

I havent updated in awhile.. But Boy the week went by quickly..
Yom kippur was monday. So I took it as a day of rest. Tuesday I had my own personal Jewish High Holiday Ritual to do which went off without a hitch.. Everyone who attended said that they had a good time.. We prayed and feasted and I finally felt like I was actually doing somthing for the holidays rather than sit in shul all day.. Sorry to me thats just plain old boring. No hands on stuff and a 45 min sermon too boot. Ugh thats not what praying is meant to be.. At least not for me.. I am a visual person I need to see what goes on. When someone is on the pulpit I cant see anything.. So its not fun for me.. With this private ritual we were all in circle surrounded by close personal friends who think along the same path as I do. I wont get into detail of what we did in circle but it was fantastic and really exhausting for me at least.. Then I gave a councelling session to a friend. Whom I hope is doing much better..........!!!!!!!!! Miaka please email or call me..
Today I have been asked to do more Jewish style rituals. As the next holiday with a change of season that is coming up is Chanuka I have decided to do a Chanuka Ritual. There will be 8 people in attendance. THats all I know for now..

Personal wise well school is school.. I feel as if I am getting a cold now yuck. I only have class on Thursday this week.. As Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday is the CESQ Meaning Cheval, Encan, Standardbred De Quebec. Being held at the Hippodrome de Montreal. AkA Blue Bonnets. So it should be a good weekend so long as this darned cold stays a cold. All I know is my body is weak and I am sneezing like crazy. Needless to say my sleeping hours are nuts also.. Oh well.. Such is life I gather.. Anyhow thats it for now.

2003-10-04T00:33:00.000-04:00

I had a great day today.. Finally.. I had to go to the Bird Sanctuary today and pick up a log.. Yes a log.. Why you ask? Well we need it for CMS classes. We are making "Yule Logs" Or for me.. Chanucka Logs. As I like to call mine.. Its a small one but it looks good.. It really needs to dry out though.. I am sure it will.. While I was there I found this clawed walking stick which I will carve and make into my own personal walking stick.. I will add a stone in the claw to give it some energy. For those that know me this is not the first walking stick which I have had in my life time.. I had one many years ago that abandond me.. So Now I am glad that I am going to have a fancier one.. I cant wait until its all completed.. YAY.. This to has to dry out.. I will take all the barck off and cut to my height. Then sand and add the stone.. It should look good.. I would love to carve but I am not an artist. Perhaps I can find someone to do a carving for me.. I will ask around.. I have a good weekend coming up no class CMS work but it should be fun altogether. Nice and relaxing.. Yom kippure is on monday so no class and then No class for the following monday as its Thanks giving weekend. As far as Samhain goes I am looking forward to it.. I usually pay my respect to my ancestors on that day.. OCt 31.. Just to clue people in.. I hope to go with a friend of mine this year.. We will see about that.. If time permits..

Other than that life is good. I cant believe I am saying that.. Yes it can be better. I Can be making a million dollars and be happy. But I have made some great strides in the past couple of years and I am really happy about that..

MY Jewish New year Ritual will be held on October 7, 2003.. Those of you whom have been invited know who you are.. While those of you who have not well perhaps next year.. We shall feast and have a good time after all that is what new years is all about. Plus a bit of faithfull praying added in as well. We must thank the devine and the G-D's for this year and the year to come..
take care to all...

and may you all have a fast fasting on Monday.

2003-09-26T23:43:00.000-04:00

Sorry to add this sad news while every Jewish person celebrates the New Year.. ANOTHER ATTACK on ISRAEL.
Unfortunatly there will never be peace when you have two very stubborn sides wanting to very different ideological things..
________

And Again

Today, a noble Palestinian jihadi sneaked into the West Bank settlement of Negohot, and showed his valor by attacking a family in their home and murdering a seven-month old girl: Gunman kills two, including baby girl, in West Bank settlement.

by Charles at 03:01 PM PST |
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2003-09-26T15:56:00.000-04:00

Welcome to fall everyone.. OR as pagan's refere to as Mabon Holiday.. For us Jewish People L'shana Tova as the Jewish New year is approaching fast.. No matter what holiday you practice be sure to have a healthy and happy Holiday.

Holidays are a time of celebration and reflection. Its a time to see how far we have come as individual persons. Have we grown or learned any important life lessons along the route to a path no matter how many twist and turns it has taken us to get to a certain places in life.. As long as we can find good points then the journey and life path has been a success. We often miss interpert the good aspects in ones life.. We should give ourselves much more credit than we normally do.

I know my journey is not over as there is still a great deal of unfinished business to take care of.. School just started, as did the remainder of my life. As I finally have figured out what it is that I want to do with it.. It seems as if life is just starting for me. We learned about Systemic Psychotherapy last night in our Observation class.. I am a pretty firm believer in this philosophy. As I have realized certain life points of mine I now know why and how I got to certain aspects of my life.

I have to thank a number of people for their support over the year. My Family refferring to my immediate family for all of there help and some times unwanted guidence over the year. My Spiritual family for all the growing I have done over the year. I thank everyone so much..

I would also like to thank both of my extended families as well..

For everyone involved

L'shana Tova.
Happy New year and Mabon.
Lawrence.

2003-09-25T11:13:00.000-04:00

I had hoped to keep a low profile for the holiday season this year but that did not seem to happen.. I have had several pretty big discussions with members of my family regarding my personal view on Spirituality and Judiasm. I hope that they understand how I pracitice spirtuality today. Religion and Spirituality are two different things entirely. Yes they go hand in hand, yet the interpertations and definitions are important for each individual and can change for each person.. I choose to practice the way I feel its right for me.. I agree that its out of the norm from the way every other Jew Practices. But I have found many answers to questions I had practicing this way which I do not think practicing the Conservative traditional way would have done for me.
If people remember that a year after my surgery I started to go to Sundown prayers at the shaare Zion. I enjoyed them but I didnt get anything out of it.. No QUestions were answered and only more arose.. With that being said since there were no answers I had to search out a path specific to me or make my own.. I havent abandoned my Jewish heritage or Beliefs just enhanced them to the point where some if not most questions will be answered with in time. This is the reason for practicing what I practice.. To seek out and learn about all whats around me in an open spiritualistic way. Since this is quite a hard path with lots of questions as well I would certainly enjoy my families support on the spiritual path that I have chosen for my self. Like the support you have shown and given me for school which is greatly appreciated. You can see the results with school.. Let my spiritual path help guide me in my personal life direction as well.

I wish to extend a hearty holiday season to both families.
I wish a happy Rosh Hashana and a Happy Mabon to all
May all of our wishes of peace and hope come true this year.

2003-09-22T23:43:00.000-04:00

Class E.C.E. was long but ok tonight.. Once again I got the answer right to the only question the proff asked in class.. Of course it was a accounting question too boot.. GO figure.. I have to say thank you to my fathers lectures in his office about selling private shares of a company to one individual but the permit of the building is still in the name of the owner.. Or somthing to that effect.. Anyhow dad I was listening to your lectures and I got the answer right.. Your time was not wasted.. So thank you for making me look smart tonight.. Other than that life goes on.

I hope my family is begining to understand what and how I practice my spirtuality. They have been asking questions as of late and its been hard to answer them.. The reason why its been hard is because I still havent figured out my path.. I know what direction to go into but the path is a different story. SO I hope they bear with me while I make these very important decisions.. thanks to all who support me..

2003-09-22T00:03:00.000-04:00

Ok.. Let me try and explain what I study spiritually for everyone who reads this.. I am sure you are all wondering that very important piece of information.

Chapter one.. 11 years ago because of the heart surgery I developed my own personal belief and spiritual system. Before the surgery I was not really interested in religion or spirituality as a whole. I was young and unaware of the world around me but the surgery opend my eyes to the shortness of life in the world today. My beliefs because of the surgery now includes being accepting of the nature around you, trying to enjoying life, cut down on daily stresses, and become more aware of your surroundings. This includes the energies that are around you. Thus including time, space, and manegment, and all elements which make up life on this particular planet. Which include Earth, Air, Fire, Water, Spirit.

Chapter two. I wanted to keep my Jewish Background and heritage and encompass all of the above mentioned subjects into my spiritual beliefs. This is a chore and not easy an easy one.. This means that I have to become learned in the Laws of halacha, the old testement, the torah and other obscure biblical texts as well. Therefore this means tons of reading and research in order to find the information that is needed to further my spirituality and balance who I am as a person.

Chapter three. As a result of the above mentioned I found a spiritual place in Montreal called Melange Magique. I actually went in there one day to try and find a cure for Headachs. I found one that lasted quite awhile called Lavendar. Which I still use today to some degree for the lesser headachs. Anyhow I decided to take a meditation class with Scarlet. ( Scarlet ) I need you to introduce yourself to everyone please at this point.....

Magical Circle

I enjoyed the meditation and the ground lessons which I still use to this day..

Divergence.. Lets not talk about thursdays please. I learned my lesson thank you..

then I decided to take a practical magik course which taught us how to ground and use other energies such as light and energy. Yes you can throw energy balls at people.. Providing they ask for them..
I took this class with Autumn. ( Autumn ) Please introduce yourself at this time.

Owl Daughter

Chapter four. After a few other courses I decided to go to a Crescent moon School Open house where I signed up for the level one classes. It was exhausting work but I now know the basics of many different cultures and religions. We had to get to know each element of the planet. So we had to taste salt and salt from the dead sea.. I could actually taste the sadness from that salt.. It was quite powerfull. I know it sounds like a nothing class but let me tell you it was an eye opener. You got to see how life moved, breathed, and lived. Without those elements we would be a barren planet and life would have not evolved. SO therefore in my opinion we must treat them with respect, honor, obedience, and kindness. They will in turn treat us the same way. We as people take the elements for granted. Just think about the cave man.. With out fire how would they have survived. Today we just strike a match or turn on the stove.. So I learned about cultures and societies dieties, and the new and the old testements. Nothing was left unturned. It was at that moment in time when I realized that I was a very shamanic person.

Chapter 5. As a result of being shamanic I can see snipits of time and pictures. Dont ask me how that happens I still have no clue about that. But this is one of a few abiliites that I have. These Shamanic visions I see mostly come in my dream world when I am asleep. Needless to say I dont sleep much. Especially around full moons. This brings us up to where I am now in level two which goes for a full year on Every saturday afternoon from 3-6 p.m.

I kindly ask the teachers to introduce themselves on the postings. They have no choice.. Re: Your educational background, and work background, and experiences dealing with difficult me.

I also want to say that I have everyones support for school and the path that I have chosen for myself... I thank my family for their support with out them all of this inner searching I would have not been able to do this growing at all.. I thank them sincerly.

NOTE to teachers.. I am wondering if we can set this Barbique up soon with my family??? Tuesdays seem like a good day?? Please let me know..

2003-09-21T21:11:00.000-04:00

HI all..

Not a bad week. I had a busy week in fact. Lasalle classes and CMS classes all went well. In lasalle we learned about pavlov's dogs, which was a refresher for me as I learned that when I was in CEGEP. Then we learned about some of the securities laws regarding Day Cares in the provience of Quebec.. So not a bad week of learning and gaining knowledge.

So Far with CMS I must say that I liked CMS level one so far.. It was challenging our minds to overcome certain areas so that we can learn or re-learn how to interpert certain aspects of our birth religion and or Paganism as well. Level two so far has been interesting but I am going to be missing the fun courses because of the Jewish holidays. OH well..

As far as the Holidays go.. I have completed my Jewish New Years (Rosh Hashana Ritual) It might be posted as the website becomes more interactive. As of right now the ritual is sitting in a note book. Awating to be done patiently. It will not be done on the day of Rosh Hashana but one week after. As thats when all of my friends are invited to attend.. A reminder to them.. Please Pick your Elements to call quarters... I will not be calling...

RE: Autumn we still need to have that chat.......????????? I hope this week at some point????

Other than that life is slowly improving..

Have a good week.

2003-09-18T23:43:00.000-04:00

Well interesting day today.. Went down to MM since I had class at six and I knew that Miaka was going to show up at somepoint.. So we had a little bit of a reiki session. They usually go well. But this one had a bit of a twist to it.. During the session my chest got all tight and I really started to caugh.. Not just a little bit but for an hour and a half almost.. Very strange.. I decided to drink and eat somthing and I felt alot better.. Thankfully I was able to go to class but I was sooooo tired. I was able to wake up during the second part of the class. So The second part of class at Lasalle went well.

While at MM I started to write my first ritual ever.. I still have no idea how I am going to divide the parts up for people but I will try to figure somthing out.. I spent three hours yesterday at the Jewish public library doing research for the Rosh Hashana Ritual that I have planned.. I am only having close friends attending. So far I think 7 people.. I might add one more.. Not sure yet.. So far I have gotten good comments from the preliminary work on the Ritual.. I know I am still missing important elments too it though.

In one of the posts my longest friend asks me what I get out of the rits.. Let me address this a bit further.. First it allows me to find a spiritual path. I have difficulties in agreeing with alot of what Judiasm has to say and do.. Yet I find the mystical side of judiasm much more appealing to me.. SO I am studying a great deal of Kabbalah and I am acompanying the kabbalah with some sort of native Shaminism.. That part I have not quite figured out how to do just yet but I am sure I will soon.. AUTUMN I need help on that.. ( Disscussion over lunch one day) Please.......!
So with that said this ritual of Rosh Hashana allows me to bring in the new year along with "Millions upon Millions of" WWE.com
Other Jewish people. Judiasm is not what a Rabbi tells us to do.. Its what you make it out to be.. We all have to put in the work in order to try and make the world a better place. We must all try to make our foes understand what Judiasm is. Its not a country its not a race its a religion which was formed by different groups of people coming together many many many years ago..
We should feel this connection within us..

HEY I think I just helped myself out....
Thanks MARC..

2003-09-16T17:38:00.000-04:00

Had an interesting day so far today.. Went down to the MPRC to try and get some work done on my Ritual but wound up helping setting up the new shelf and re- placing the oversized books on the new shelf.. Eventually I got down to some writing of the ritual and so far so good. I guess.. This is my first time really planning a serious ritual out so please bear with me all.. Plus with the stuckyness of the path work that I am feeling its not easy.. I hope I can do a good job.. I was supposed to ask the proff last night if I can interview him for CMS class but I was totally side tracked with talking to someone about spirituality and path work.. Plus Autumn I completely forgot to write down the questions we are supposed to ask. IS there anyway you can email me them? THANKS a bunch..

I know and realize that discovering the path that we are on is never over.. The only thing that can make it easier is having family support.. But I guess everything is a learning experience including this.. They support me in alot of different otherways and they try and undestand what I am doing spirituality. But if they are not in my shoes then they really dont know how I walk a very fine line in life and spirituality as well. Having somthing medically done to you and adding other life stresses can make anyone seek out a new path.. Especially at a young age when your supposed to figure out who you really are as a person.. I can honestly say that after ten years of searching I have finally found a reasonable person behind the mask.. Yes I am still growing and finding out new things which I have to work on but its all a chore that we all have to go through.. Life never really ends until our entity light is gone.. That can take many many years..

On another note.. I might have a two day a week part time job... Yes me work.. I always know that the tennis courts at Cote St Luc need people around this time and my friend is the manager so I asked him today.. He said that he has to make the schedual and he will let me know if I am on it this week.. But he said most probably I will be.. I have tuesdays and Wednesdays free.. So I said I can work all day if he really needs someone.. Its good hours and under T....

Thats about it so I am off for dinner..

Bye.

2003-09-15T00:53:00.000-04:00

HI all.. Well school lasalle Classes are going really well.. So far that is.. It only has been the first week so I cant really judge.. But so far so good as the saying goes.. As far as CMS (Spirituallity class) go I feel really stuck.. I dont know why.. Perhaps its the fact that the Jewish Holidays are coming up so fast and I am not doing anything for them.. The fact is I hate going to shul and pray.. I feel closterphobic and the Rabbi and the Cantor really bug the heck out of me.. They preach they pray they give hour and a half sermons yet they dont tell you what the meaning of the holiday is.. They dont explain what is going on in the services.. They just do it.. Your supposed to know everything cause your Jewish.. Well I am just not like that.. I need to know. I need to ask the questions and discover for myself what is truth and what is lie. So I sit at home and read the same prayer book as most Jewish people do on that day and come up with different interpertations.. Does that make me wrong or bad that I see things differently than most people? Yet I still feel as if my parents "all of them" are giving me a rough time with the path that I have chosen for myself.. I just cant come to the proper decision about the Holidays. I really wish they would be over..

I would love to find some more eclectic people so that I can study with them.. I think thats one of the things that I am missing. I feel as if I am doing this all on my own.. The responsibility to be true to your heart and yourself is really hard to justify and admit. But once you have done so then you can hopefully approach a decision. For me I know I need people to bounce Ideas off of.. Therefore a Spiritual Coven family is needed.

As far as Energy work goes.. I am practicing my Reikie on a couple of people who really need it.. Miaka who is my adopted sister I owe you a session my dear.. You will Hopefully get it next week.. I had another friend who was really out of it drunk and depressed I helped him out also.. Although I havent heard from him today.. I hope he slept the treatment off.. I love helping heal people.. People of this path are always presumed to worship satan and the dark recesses of the earth yet when we say that we help people we get funny looks.. Why is that? I have had some bad experiences this week and I am now not going to talk to new people whom I just meet about my personal religious beliefs.. Cause G-D damned it, it just not any of there business what I believe in.. Mine and mine alone..

I hope everyone has a good week..

baruch Hashem.

2003-09-10T23:39:00.000-04:00

How many of you played with Barbie Dolls when you were young? What type of stories did you come up with for Barbie and Ken. Your imaginations ran wild. You pretended and your ability to dream about what you want as an adult grew. Barbie stands for alot of different items for alot of different people.. Womens freedom, Sexuality as well as Imagination and the Capitalistic Society that America is built on meaning MONEY. But basically it is just a toy to have fun with for young girls and dare I say it some boys. I know my niece's love playing with there Barbies and all Dolls which they have and they dont see anything offensive with them. I came across the following article regarding Barbie Dolls in the Middle East. Namely Saudi Arabia. Take a read and let me know what you think.

AP: Saudis Hate Barbie

The Associated Press, stuck in some kind of time warp, has just noticed that the Saudis have an irrational phobia about Barbie dolls: Barbie Deemed Threat to Saudi Morality.

RIYADH, Saudi Arabia - Saudi Arabia's religious police have declared Barbie dolls a threat to morality, complaining that the revealing clothes of the "Jewish" toy — already banned in the kingdom — are offensive to Islam.

The Committee for the Propagation of Virtue and Prevention of Vice, as the religious police are officially known, lists the dolls on a section of its Web site devoted to items deemed offensive to the conservative Saudi interpretation of Islam.

"Jewish Barbie dolls, with their revealing clothes and shameful postures, accessories and tools are a symbol of decadence to the perverted West. Let us beware of her dangers and be careful," said a poster on the site.

The poster, plastered with pictures of Barbie in short dresses and tight pants, and with a few of her accessories, reads: "A strange request. A little girl asks her mother: Mother, I want jeans, a low-cut shirt, and a swimsuit like Barbie."

I had a link to this story at LGF four months ago. Come on, AP; you have to try a little harder to keep up with the lizards.

by Charles at 10:33 PM PST |
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2003-09-09T17:31:00.000-04:00

I conquerd my class fear this week as class finally started.. I have good new and bad news to tell so please bear with me while I divulge the information. First the whole ECE (Early Childhood Education ) Programa at Lasalle College is only a year and a half and not two years.. So thank the gods I am out of there alot quicker than I had previously thought. The Bad news. Well there might be a few Saturdays where I will have to go to Lasalle Class before attending CMS Level two. I talked with the proffessor and he assures me that we will be out of class by 1 or 1:30 on those days. Then he adds if those days are needed altogether. Otherwise class went swimmingly well for a first class.. All the introductions and yada yadas that we all have to go through.. ETC.. Until we hit our first question.. Do children need both a mother and a father to raise a child? Answers were thrown back and forth etc Then he picked on the token male of the class which is usually me at this point.. So he says " Token Male" as I am now known as What do you think.. I say There are many ways to raise kids. But the ideal situation would be to have both a mother and a father in order to give the child Balance and stability".. Learning how I did In CMS level one that balance is requiered and needed to preform proper rituals and ceremonies.. Proff says "Very Good" "We are going to have wonderful chats with "Token male" Shaking his head which seemed like he was impressed with my answer. I guess I am in deep trouble now to prove my worth to myself and to the class..

Once again I have to thank Scarlet and Autumn for pushing me to the max..

CMS level two is going ok so far.. Its only the beginning but class went well. I am looking forward to the next couple of classes. I am working with a fellow CMS level two student / person who feels like my sister already on different techniques in order to get her to calm down. So far its working I hope.. Miaka I need feed back Kiddo..

All this to say I am looking forward to the rest of my classes. Zit free I hope.. I broke out on Sunday night. Right where my third Eye is.. Which of course is the most tierd spot on my body.. So of course it would happen there.
Anyways gotta Trot..

2003-09-08T12:07:00.000-04:00

I know i am getting all political on this site.. But I think there are many many personal and world lessons we can learn from leaders who do not want to co-operate with each other.. Co-operation means world peace to some extent. Therefore puttin a great deal of people out of work.. So there is an economic reasons to continue the struggles of certain societies as well as personal reasons for each individual regarding their own country. Including Quebec..

This is an article about the lessons of the Israel palestinian conflict which I found on the website www.haaretz.com

Barring any surprising developments, the
resignation of Palestinian Prime Minister Mahmoud
Abbas appears to spell the collapse of a
concentrated political effort made in the last six
months to channel the Israeli-Palestinian conflict
to the negotiating table. It was a complex effort
by the entire international community - the UN,
U.S., EU, Russia, and the moderates of the Arab
world, led by Egypt - and a process based on two
principles: adopting the road map and replacing
the active leadership in the Palestinian
Authority.

Israel, like all others involved
in the process, needs to
examine its own behavior in the
process that led to this
failure. Seemingly, it and the
Palestinians had a framework to
calm the armed conflict, a
framework that was reasonable
both in terms of the goals and
content of the agreement it

proposed, as well as its mechanism for managing
the process and the timetable it set. The
disappointing result means some lessons need to
be learned.

The reasons for the failure are seemingly quite
apparent: From the Israeli perspective, Yasser
Arafat proved anew that he is an incorrigible
creator of land mines meant to torpedo any
dialogue with Israel; Abbas was not blessed
with the kind of leadership skills required to
stand up to Arafat; the U.S. did not apply the
appropriate pressure at the appropriate time on
the Palestinian leadership to fulfill its
responsibilities as defined in the road map;
the terrorist organizations did not give up
their preparations for terror attacks.

As a result of such plots and failures, the
Palestinians avoided making all their armed
forces subordinate to the Abbas government, and
the contradiction emerged between its
commitments to the agreement signed at Aqaba
and the understandings it reached with Hamas
and Islamic Jihad in the hudna.

From the Palestinian perspective, the source of
the failure was the continuing Israeli policy
of assassinations of wanted men and the arrests
of others; an insulting lack of generosity in
gestures meant to inspire grass-roots
Palestinian support for the political dialogue;
Israel's failure to fulfill its commitments in
the road map to evacuate and dismantle
outposts; and insensitivity to the difficulties
Abbas faced trying to consolidate his
position.

There is no symmetry to the division of guilt.
Abbas hinted he regards Arafat as a key element
that weakened and obstructed his plans, but
Israel cannot take comfort in that. At the end
of three years of bloodletting, it is back to
the starting point of a new cycle of violence
that will bring bereavement, pain and enormous
damage to both sides - without bringing them
any closer to an agreement.

Even when taking into account that the Abbas
resignation - if, indeed, it is final - is
evidence that his policy of quitting terror is
shared by only a small minority in the
Palestinian public and leadership, Israeli
society cannot wrap itself in
self-righteousness and say that it did what it
could to calm the conflict. It is an
existential issue for Israel to end the
conflict with the Palestinian people, thus
guaranteeing the future of the Zionist
enterprise. It would be a grave mistake to once
again sink into armed conflict and despair of
even seeking a way out of the conflict.

2003-09-07T18:06:00.000-04:00

HI have a beef to pick with the PLO and the Jihad factions of the Palestinian people.. First let me state that I do have arabic friends and that Jews and Arabs can get along quite well as proof with me.. However..

If the Palestinians are looking for free democratic ruling of themselves why is there someone at the helm trying to form a new government?? Is this supposed new government of the people? was it Democratically elected? From what I see its an appointed government via Yassar Arrafat himself. No one else has a final say as to who is inputed into this Jihadest government of Palestine.

We should all learn to give and take what we can. Learn from one another and all other future generations should learn from us. Our Actions of any sort lead to the actions of the next generation. How can we stop this madness?

I am also talking about the IDF (Israeli Defence Force) are quietly going " Duck Shooting" for the top officials of the PLO, Hammas, and anyone else they can get there hands on. If the IDF kills them all how would they know that someone more fiendisch will take controll of the parties mentioned. Lets deal with them now on some level and get what we can to achieve peace. Please for the sake of us all and the world.

2003-09-05T10:54:00.000-04:00

As I wake up from what was possibly the third worst ever evening of my life I realized that I have quite a bit to do this coming week. Namely trying to get my life in order. I will have a chat with my father this coming new week. I also start school at lasalle which I am totally nervous for. I also start CMS on Saturday. So I guess I can say that this is a start. A start of what yet I do not know. But of as a journey perhaps. I am always nervous on new journey's so please bear with me if I bite peoples heads off I tend to get very agitated. In order for me to start my acedemic journey I have to re visit the past. I need to get my transcripts from cegep to see if I can put it to good use at lasalle. I will know later today and let you all know. I was doing some cleaning and I found a govt cheques which I never cashed.. I wonder what the date limits are of them to cash if any? I guess I will have to ask an accountant. I think I know a few..

anyhow I am off for the day..

2003-09-04T21:01:00.000-04:00

Its been awhile since I last posted on here. Not much has been happening. I am awaiting school to start patiently and my spiritual classes begin on saturday.. But I feel so depressed. Not wanting to do anything these days except what I have to do to survive. I am just barely keeping afoot and its driving me crazy. I just cant seem to get out of this rut. I thought the spiritual classes will help.. But they only go so far.. I just feel like running and not stopping for anyone. I just hate this feeling. I havent even checked out my INR level because I have been so down.. I know I have to soon. I will try to book an appointment for next week.. I just feel so out of control and so confused that its driving me crazy. I just dont know what to do anymore. The more I try to help myself the more helpless I feel. Does that make sense? I dont know. Why does life have to be such a struggle for some and so hard to cope with for others? Its just not fair damn it. I have been struggling to survive most of my life and enough is enough. I just dont have the strength to do it anymore.. I am not giving up on life but I feel betrayed by G-D. Maybe this is why I am struggling to find him. Who knows.
I need answers though and they are not coming as easy as I expected. Life Sucs. The only few things that I have that I am looking forward to are school Early childhood Education and Spiritual School which is like therapy. As well as the horse auction. My three loves in life.. I hope when things start I will feel better.

ta ta for now.

2003-08-25T10:36:00.000-04:00

Bad news recieved this weekend. My grandparents rescinded their offer to help me out with school. I now have to go it alone and figure out away to pay for this for the upcoming two years. I hope I can figure something out soon. So needless to say I am really down today. I dont think I can get enough of a student loan because my father makes too much money.. I know there is some sort of corelation between the two.. RIght now I just hope and pray that all will be able to get worked out in some way shape or form. I want this more than anything now that I taught my first class on the weekend. It was a great joy and privlege to see people making good connections to different topics...

This particular dark moon has been rough on many people that I know and I cant wait until it finshes. This is going to be a really bad week..

2003-08-22T23:07:00.000-04:00

Just a comment on these extremists who think they have the world on edge because they arent getting what they want.. When you have people dressed in sheets not showing what there faces are people tend to do two things. The first is run and hide because people are too ignorant and dont want to be bothered with politics or the 2nd thing is that people will stay and fight for what the truth is.. Today the truth on both ends is not being told. We have a big problem with dealing within the hear and now and always look to the present. Today both Hammas and the IDF (israeli Defence Force ) broke off the fragile truce instead of trying to work things out.. Its much easier to pick up a gun and kill than it is to talk.. People today are affraid to talk and get things out in the open.. Let the truth be known and the hiding of information stop..... JMO...

Religion of Mass Murder

Palestinian Hamas followers dressed as suicide bombers march holding up the Quran, Islam's holy book, in the Palestinian refugee camp of Ain el-Hilweh.(AFP/Mahmud Al-Zayyat)

A Palestinian group dressed as Hamas suicide bombers strapped with fake explosives and carrying the holy Muslim book, the Quran, during a street demonstration at Ein el-Hilweh refugee camp near the southern port city of Sidon, Lebanon, Friday Aug. 22, 2003 to protest against Israeli air attacks on Hamas leader Ismail Abu Shanab in Gaza strip. Text on head band reads 'Al-Qassam Brigades'. (AP Photo/Mohammed Zaatari)

Hamas followers, dressed as suicide bombers and holding the Quran, burn Israeli and US flags during a protest against the assassination of senior Hamas leader Ismail Abu Shanaab.(AFP/Mahmoud Zayat)

by Charles at 11:40 AM PST |
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2003-08-20T22:42:00.000-04:00

I think the following article on the hijab is an important article on Religious interpertation and understanding. This is a must read article by charles a writer on www.littlegreenfootballs.com
______
The Hijab is Not Essential

Here’s an important piece by Amir Taheri on the hijab, the Islamic head scarf for women that is being promoted by radical Islamic groups worldwide: Islamic headgear is not essential. The hijab is not mentioned in the Qu'ran, or in any hadith; in fact, it was invented in the 1970s by an Iranian mullah named Mussa Sadr:

In an interview in 1975 in Beirut, Sadr told this writer that the hijab he had invented was inspired by the headgear of Lebanese Catholic nuns, itself inspired by that of Christian women in classical Western paintings. (A casual visit to the National Gallery in London, the Metropolitan Museum in New York, or the Louvres in Paris, would reveal the original of the neo-Islamist hijab in numerous paintings depicting Virgin Mary and other female figures from the Old and New Testament.)
Sadr's idea was that, by wearing the headgear, Shiite women would be clearly marked out, and thus spared sexual harassment, and rape, by Yasser Arafat's Palestinian gunmen who at the time controlled southern Lebanon.
Sadr's neo-hijab made its first appearance in Iran in 1977 as a symbol of Islamist-Marxist opposition to the Shah's regime. When the mullahs seized power in Tehran in 1979, the number of women wearing the hijab exploded into tens of thousands.
In 1981, Abol-Hassan Bani-Sadr, the first president of the Islamic Republic, announced that "scientific research had shown that women's hair emitted rays that drove men insane" (sic). To protect the public, the new Islamist regime passed a law in 1982 making the hijab mandatory for females aged above six, regardless of religious faith. Violating the hijab code was made punishable by 100 lashes of the cane and six months imprisonment.
By the mid-1980s a form of hijab never seen in Islam before the 1970s had become standard gear for millions of women all over the world, including Europe and America.

And why are militant Islamic front groups like CAIR working overtime to promote the wearing of the hijab, especially in schools and in public jobs?

The garb is designed to promote gender Apartheid. It covers the woman's ears so that she does not hear things properly. Styled like a hood, it prevents the woman from having full vision of her surroundings. It also underlines the concept of woman as object, all wrapped up and marked out.
Muslim women, like women in all societies, had covered their head with a variety of gears over the centuries. These had such names as lachak, chador, rusari, rubandeh, chaqchur, maqne'a, and picheh among others.
All had tribal, ethnic and generally folkloric origins and were never associated with religion. (In Senegal, Muslim women wear a colourful headgear against the sun, while working in the fields, but go topless.)
Muslim women could easily check the fraudulent nature of the neo-Islamist hijab by leafing through their family albums. They will not find the picture of a single female ancestor of theirs who wore the cursed headgear now marketed as an absolute "must" of Islam.
This fake Islamic hijab is nothing but a political prop, a weapon of visual terrorism. It is the symbol of a totalitarian ideology inspired more by Nazism and Communism than by Islam. It is as symbolic of Islam as the Mao uniform was of Chinese civilisation. It is used as a means of exerting pressure on Muslim women who do not wear it because they do not share the sick ideology behind it. It is a sign of support for extremists who wish to impose their creed, first on Muslims, and then on the entire world through psychological pressure, violence, terror, and, ultimately, war. The tragedy is that many of those who wear it are not aware of its implications. They do so because they have been brainwashed into believing that a woman cannot be a "good Muslim" without covering her head with the Sadr-designed hijab.

by Charles

2003-08-18T17:23:00.000-04:00

CMS (Crescent Moon School) Held their Graduation this past Sunday. A good time was had by all including me. Level one class held a meditation class while level two's had their walk in the woods blindfolded for them to graduate they had to emerge from the forest. Tres Kool. Congrats to all who have succeeded on our ever winding Journey. After the ceremony we had a much anticipated feast. Well actually BBQ which was a great success. People were really full afterwards..
the Celebrations wound up at nine when we all departed.

On personal notes I start work on Tuesday yes that would be tomorrow. I also start school on Sept 8th. I have a meeting with Weston on Thursday morning to figure out a schedual for the fall semester as well as to see if I chose the correct program for my schooling at Lasalle College. So for both of these subjects I will be speaking to the Principal of the school.. So life is good today finally.

One more note of thanks goes out to Scarlet and Autumn two wonderful CMS teachers who helped the level ones succesfully graduate. A gratitude of thanks to you both.

2003-08-15T16:47:00.000-04:00

Hey folks. When it rains it pours it seems. I wound up getting the job that I applied for this week. Its part time hours so it wont interfere with the other stuff I do example Weston and school. I finally completed all the registration process at Lasalle College for their ECE program today. I am in the program and classes start up this September. BUT BUT BUT. Even though this is what I want to do a Job opportunity opened up at Standardbred Canada on the Trot Magazine. This is a job I would truly love also as its covering Harness racing for the entire Country. Now I just have to move my but and get my resume out there to Toronto. I cant believe the amount of choices I have these days. ITs so overwhelming. This posting at Toronto I am applying for fun just to see if I can get an interview with them. I am keeping my fingers crossed.
CMS graduation is this weekend and I am really looking forward to it. Being around good people always is special.

Have a good weekend all.

2003-08-13T10:44:00.000-04:00

Yesterdays interview went well for a job that I am interested in.. There were three people interviewed and I think its down to two people already. There will be training involved and I hope I get the call for the training. The cash will come in handy that is for sure.

School is coming up fast and I still have no clue what to do. Religion is a love of mine which will always be there. But you cant make much money from it. While helping out kids is somthing that I like to do also. I am a patient and caring person I am also a good listener. You need those traits to help out anyone in the end. Registration for the lasalle college can be this week and its a two year program while The religion is a three year B.A. Which I can not do anything with. I think I just answered my own question.. I still will take the religion after my two year College program that is a positive..
Now I have to get to work on my CV so that I can register for Lasalle.

take it easy all.

2003-08-11T17:43:00.000-04:00

Ok strange day today. I have so many options open I need some input as to which direction to go with my life.

Option one. Upon Review of my Concordia application the result maybe that I was accepted into the religion program. I will know more tomorrow as registration is Wednesday.

Option two. Take the two year lasalle college ECE program and then take my B.A. Religion afterwards. I should not have trouble getting into Concordia then.

Option three. Take my two year ECE program and then take a B.ed at Mcgill. Then take the B.A. in relgion.

I have never been in this type of predicament before. HELP..

Thanks all.

2003-08-10T12:01:00.000-04:00

First let me start off with an OH BOY..
This is D Day week for me. Where my life should all come together.
I have a few options concerning schools which I might be attending in the fall. The first option is Concordia University. B.A. in Religion. I wound up not getting into the program yet I can still take three classes as an indipendant and get my marks up to par. Then re- apply for the winter or the fall of 2004. Your all going to say what a waist of time. But I need to get those marks up. The second option that I have is at Lasalle College where I can take an Early Childhood Education 2 year certificate. I know I was going to do somthing in that field anyways so perhaps this is the better option to take. Its only two years at Lasalle College. So its not that long. Plus they offer a stage program too boot.

I also have a job interview tomorrow so I will let you know how that goes. I am keeping my fingers crossed. If I get that job and coupled with my Weston School work I should be ok.
(School is at night) so I have the day to work and study.. Besides the classes look really good minus the first semester of course.. OR am I just talking myself into the program here???

Well I am also teaching next weekend on the 16th. I am also graduating on the 17th from my CMS level one classes. All in all a busy hectic week coming up. So just pray and wish me luck that all turns out.
Have a good week all.

2003-08-07T22:54:00.000-04:00

After an exhausting day of researching the goddess form I have discovered who my pesonal goddess is finally. I had thought it was arachnea but I did not like the greek aspect of it. She seemed a bit to harsh for me. It could just be my imagination but thats what I felt towards her. My new changed goddes is the finnish goddess Luonnotor. The creator Goddess. There are reasons why I chose her but I will not go into it. Some people who I know would take things the wrong way so I am keeping my mouth shut and I will only tell those who are interested in knowing. That will be my choice in the end.

Well thats all for now.

2003-08-07T22:53:00.000-04:00

2003-08-07T00:23:00.000-04:00

As you all can see I have been very busy working on the site. I must say it looks alot better than before.. A gratitude of thanks goes out to Miaka for her kind help with the posting of the pictures and the adding of the comments section. More changes will be coming soon as I will think what to put on here. If you have any suggestions for those who know me please suggest somthing. My poetry will be along shortly.
Thats it for now.

2003-08-05T00:43:00.000-04:00

I am writing this blogg entry to a couple of people who know me quite well. CMS level students I need to ask a question to you all. I have been doing some research on whats called a shamanistic death experience. I know they are unique in general and that most people do not do them. But the reason why I am thinking about doing one is because of the problems that you folks know about.. example The metallic device placed you know where. It seems like my previous life ended but I did not. Perhaps its time to end that part of my earlier life now figurativly of course.. I dont want to scare anyone else who might be reading this. This is a ritual that is done in the dream world and through meditative conciousness. When I complete more research I will let you two know if I am up to this task. If I do this I need people around me whom I can trust to pull me out if I get out of hand.
Miaka and Autumn Please email me with your thoughts..

And blessed be to all.

2003-08-03T18:55:00.000-04:00

Hi all as you can see the site is going through some major changes. I will let you all know when the changes are completed so please bear with me.

thank goodness this is a start to a brand new week.. I felt lost and uncomfortable all week. I think I am going through some real hard life changes all for the good. But I do things at a slow and upsetting pace. My slow pace really upsets alot of people but the matter of fact is that I can only do things to the best of my ability this way. That way I can observe everything around me. Its a long and drawn out way but its the only way I know how to do my life. I cant help it..

Other changes are spiritual as I feel more and more connected to the land around me. I feel like I am being called back to the wild so that I can get grounded and not have all this critizism in my life. Humans are aniamls also yet our knowledge has ruined a great deal of our instinctual philosophy and structure. Its a shame. But these electronical gadgets have done this to us.. I went back to nature this week and I went to the bird sanctuary in Montreal on Westmount summit circle. Boy it was really nice. In order to see birds our senses had to increase. As most birds fly quicker than we see. So listening to sound is important. Its amazing that I did not get lost in the woods either. I knew exactly which direction to walk in. as long as you know where NEWS is the rest is easy.

Have a good week all.

2003-07-29T21:41:00.000-04:00

Ok all this was a nervous week for me so I apologize now if I was harsh to some people. I was on edge because I had a cardiologist appointment for today for one of my regular check ups. Thank the Gods and the Doctors all is ok and 100 Percent. I am still suffering from rib pain after having the surgery over 11 years ago. I am amzed that this pain has lasted so long. But I guess after having a 12 hour surgery with your ribs open can do that to you. Or so I am told. I feel more of a relief now that I know everything is ok. I always hate these yearly appointments as I never know what to expect. Now I can concentrait on the upcoming school semseter without too much health related stress. It is always a good thing to get rid of the stress before school starts. Then you can worry about school itself.

Well the anarchists have landed in Montreal for the big WTO meeting and demonstrations. I applaud what they are trying to do but I deplore their methods of violence. There is such a thing as peacfull protest yet these Anarchist are playing with violence. It is hard to see the barricades on the streets of Montreal as far as Guy and Sherbrooke Street. Yet protection is greatly needed. Peacfull demonstrations are much needed today rather than the the violence in order to get oppinions out to the public. Of course this is just my two cents..

Peace..

2003-07-27T22:56:00.000-04:00

Not a bad day today. Weather was just gawd horrible.
But it cleared really nicely in the afternoon. Had the MPRC meeting this afternoon and that went well. It will be one of my last as I have to prepare for school for this fall semester.
I finally completed the Kabbalah class notes for my session of teaching which starts next week. I cant believe I have over two hours of material for them to learn. Its amazing that I found so much research on the historical points of how the Kabbalah was created. Anyhow I think and hope I will enjoy the experience of teaching. If I get good reviews I will be able to do mini workshops on this topic about once a month during the year.

As far as the horse goes well it will probably be his last race next week. He needs time to grow and mature and get healthy. I think he is a bit to sore now because he is small and not completely formed yet. Yet we are asking him to go at high and fast speeds.. UGH racing sometimes just doesn't make sense.. I admit that fully.
Have a good week all

2003-07-27T22:54:00.000-04:00

Not a bad day today. Weather was just gawd horrible.
But it cleared really nicely in the afternoon. Had the MPRC meeting this afternoon and that went well. It will be one of my last as I have to prepare for school for this fall semester.
I finally completed the Kabbalah class notes for my session of teaching which starts next week. I cant believe I have over two hours of material for them to learn. Its amazing that I found so much research on the historical points of how the Kabbalah was created. Anyhow I think and hope I will enjoy the experience of teaching. If I get good reviews I will be able to do mini workshops on this topic about once a month during the year.

As far as the horse goes well it will probably be his last race next week. He needs time to grow and mature and get healthy. I think he is a bit to sore now because he is small and not completly formed yet. Yet we are asking him to go at high and fast speeds.. UGH racing sometimes just doesnt make sense.. I admit that fully.
Have a good week all.

2003-07-26T21:34:00.000-04:00

Well not a good day at the races to report.
The horse again broke stride. We are going to give him one more race and then put him to pasture so that he can mature into a nice three year old. I cant figure out why he is breaking so much. It is frusterating and I even tried some rekie. But horse do not like that... As they are power animals. If he is sore thats one thing. But lets first try and find the problem instead of race him week in and week out.
Just my suggestion..

have a good rest of the weekend.

2003-07-26T11:45:00.000-04:00

Why is it that parents always try and belittle what there kids are doing. Is this human nature to do so? I thought parents were supposed to encourage the child to do anything he and or she wants to do no matter what the age. Is there even an age limit for this to happen? I have been trying to convince my parents that going back to school is the best thing for me this week. Let me tell you it hasnt been an easy task. My father has talked with so many of his peers about this subject and is all confused now. His peers do not have my best interest at heart. As a result of many family mishaps I for one do not see those peers with the same light as I did before. They do not know who I am today. All they can do is compare me to my younger self. If this is what they are doing then they should sit down and have a chat with me so that they can get to know the real me. Having a second lease on life has taught me to go after what I think I can do. I know I can go back to school and pass the religion and or Sociology/anthropology dual specialization program with the hopes of getting into the one year Bed program at York and or the two year program at McGill. My end goal is to guide children like me in a private clinic setting. My fathers peers ask him who will hire a 38 year old person with no or little experience. With the work I am doing for weston school and the other class work I have been doing the experience is slowly starting to show its self. Now is the time to act as I have finally figured out what I want to do. Please do not delay in making a decision on this anytime soon as yes time is the essence right now.

Here and now is what counts
Time is forever.

2003-07-22T21:40:00.000-04:00

HI all well I got some great news today from a historical part of my life which I thought was over. I guess nothing is really over until we all pass on. Oh well. I digress. When I was younger I wound up going to a school in Toronto called Seneca college. I wound up not completing the program because of medical problems. For those who know me well you know what those medical situations were. Ever since then those underacheiving marks I had gotten have been giving me a hard time. Now that I effectivly got rid of them and turned them into Medical marks, I can breath a whole lot easier. As a result of a spur of the moment idea I wound up going to Mature students at Concordia university yesterday and today and they asked me if I can get a medical note for what happend to me almost 11 years ago. I said sure thing. My doctor would gladly write me a note in order to better my educational and employment future. You see I finally figured out what I want to do in life.. Yes it took awhile but thankfully with alot of research I figured out what I can do.
I want to help those who lack guidence in education and religion. This is what I want to give back to society. The first step in getting to that goal is to start and complete my Religion Program. Then the next step is to start and complete some sort of Educational program. The third step is to Find employment at a school. Preferably where I am volunteering now.. Again for those of you who know me well you know where I volunteer. This is the plan.. I hope and pray that I am successfull at it. Only time will tell.

2003-07-22T21:38:00.000-04:00

2003-07-18T17:48:00.000-04:00

HI all. well I haven't been writing much this past week on here as I have been feeling down and confused since Monday. Had some funky things happen to me which I will not get into here. But if you want a more in depth response as to what happend then email me personally for those that know my email address.

As far as the week went not a bad one.. Unfortunatly the trotter (horse) came in 10 out of 12. Therefore no cheque. You only get paid when the horse finishes in the top five positions.. There is always next week. I hope

To all folks who read this from the MPRC I am taking off a week and a half from duties. I feel as if I am beginning to get burnt out and I need a break very badly..

School; well, I finally got my mark back yesterday and I got a B- Not bad but I was kinda dissapointed. I was really hoping for a B average.. I think I messed up on one exam and one readers respons question.. I will get the hard copies very soon so I can see where I went wrong.

Weston is over for the summer. But I cant wait for next year already.. I really hope the grants come in as I love working there for the alumni and the research department.

As far as writing goes I havent written much poetry yet as I have just been so busy.. But I hope during that week off I will get back to writing. As I will be able to concentrait on my feelings and emotions than I am now.

Thats all folks.

Have a great weekend.

2003-07-14T08:59:00.000-04:00

Well its a great looking Monday morning outside.
I am up early as I have loads of errands to run today. First of many is going to the hospital and then to the MPRC and then back to the hospital for a check of the blood test. Then to Weston for a small catch up meeting. Then back home for about three ish..

Anyhow I have a complaint to make. Why is it that at least my parents always want to get other older people involved in my life for decisions that have to be made? Meaning someone else other than myself is going to have an influence on my father as to weather I go back to school or not. Is this fair? How much influence will this person have on my father? The unknown factors are huge and the possible correct decision might be in jeopardy. I am trying to keep a positive light on the whole issue but it seems a bit untrustworthy of my information and lack of confidence on my part that I showed him the complete information on going back to school. When he saw the entire calendar of the religion department of Concordia.
I understand him wanting to get more information through this guidance councilor for himself but I know exactly what courses I want to take and when. I have most of my three years planned out already with all the courses I have to take. Its just frustrating.

2003-07-12T23:51:00.000-04:00

Here is this weeks horse race entry.. He finally pulled a good position.. Thank goddesses..

7 -- Trot, purse $19,800 (EX, QU, TR)
CIRCUIT QUEBEC - DISTINCTION (NG 25000$ A VIE)
2 ANS TROT POULAINS - FRAIS DE DEPART 360$

1 B L Nash N Bardier Jr B Lepine 6-1
2 Speedometer= M Lachance M Lachance 5-1
3 The Casino Kid R Jones R Jones 7-2
4 J H Star G Hamel G Hamel 2-1
5 Le Brave Bayama S Filion J Filion 3-1
6 Rocky Mirabel= R Renaud M Renaud 12-1
7 Friendshipp J Hebert J Smith 5-2
8 Sydneycari R Quessy E Carrier 10-1
9 Jolicoeur Jo G Lamy P Lacharite 4-1
10 Trotting Storm D Dupont M Dupont 9-2
11 C L Pied Devant P Richer L Gauthier 8-1
12 Sam Sonic= S Lacaille N Masse 9-1

I hope he does well and I will let you all know Wednesday night.

2003-07-12T10:37:00.000-04:00

I figured I should start adding some of my poems on my blogger so here is the first one....

Enjoy

Shadow

Shadows I see so swift they be
old and wise though aught to be.
flying round our heads to turn
making sure of us to spurn
so on to life we must burn
Instead of counting us some sheep.
The waking world we see to sleep.
We see few beings in the dark
but those we do guide us apart
the path we seek must not depart.
reasons come to us we seek
when we count ourselves to sleep.
Day to day and night to night
Lessons burned to seek the light. so bright.
LIfe is love so bright and might.
truth is whole to make our soul.

© lawrence L, 2002-11-23

On another note today is the MPRC Pick Nic. (Montreal Pagan Resource center) We should all have a good time at the nick. ITs for volunteers to get to know one another and become more comfortable meeting everyone.. ITs a great idea.. Then we will have a BBQ and a volunteer appreciation award for volunteer of the month.. It should be fun..
Good weekend to all..

2003-07-10T22:00:00.000-04:00

HI people.. I know some of you folks are reading this blog because I am getting verbal and email feedback from alot of different people. But I have a beef with most of you. Feedback is important in any form. Email and verbal feedback are one thing. But I would also like to get web blog feedback. So my Beef with the many of whom have this link is that they do not post on site. They rather email or call me.. Yes I appreciate the call and the email but please post your comments also. Just so that others can reply to them and I can get more feedback from all of my sources. I now end the BEEF.

2003-07-09T23:12:00.000-04:00

The Casino Kid Finished 3rd tonight.. Thank the Goddesses.. He had two horses break stride beside him and then one break in front of him but he kept on trotting nicely. He did well tonight despite biting me in the stall earlier.. Yes I am ok.. Maybe I turned him into canibalism.. :) Just a thought.. Not a major bite just a nip of the fingers. After all he is a two year old. So all in all had a great night.

1 MILE, TROT, PURSE $20,000.
SERIE QUEBEC PLUS - ELITE - PAS DE RETENTION
2 ANS TROT POULAINS - FRAIS DE DEPART 400$

Horse PP 1/4 1/2 3/4 Stretch Finish
5 Magoo 5 3/5 3/4H 2@/1H 2/2 1/T
2 Canbec Bazouka 2 1/3 1/2Q 1/1H 1/2 2/T
3 The Casino Kid 3 6/12 6/11T 6@/6H 4/8 3/9
7 Jolicoeur Jo 7 5/9T 5/9Q 5X/5Q 5/11H 4/15Q
6 Speedometer 6 7/14Q 7/15Q 7/11H 6/15 5/15H
4 Sos Global Vision 4 2/3 2/2Q 3/2H 3X/4T X6XDQ/20Q
1 De Retour 1 4/7H 4/6H X4@X/3T X7/DIS 7P6/DIS
Time: 28.2, 1:00.2, 1:31.1, 1:59.2 (Temperature: 22, Condition: FT, Variant: 0

2003-07-09T00:53:00.000-04:00

HOPE
by: Emily Brontë (1818-1848)
HOPE Was but a timid friend;
She sat without the grated den,
Watching how my fate would tend,
Even as selfish-hearted men.

She was cruel in her fear;
Through the bars one dreary day,
I looked out to see her there,
And she turned her face away!

Like a false guard, false watch keeping,
Still, in strife, she whispered peace;
She would sing while I was weeping;
If I listened, she would cease.

False she was, and unrelenting;
When my last joys strewed the ground,
Even Sorrow saw, repenting,
Those sad relics scattered round;

Hope, whose whisper would have given
Balm to all my frenzied pain,
Stretched her wings, and soared to heaven,
Went, and ne'er returned again!
_____________________________________

I just love her work.

2003-07-08T17:43:00.000-04:00

A morning from hell. I woke up not only with major vertigo but a migrane to boot. I know this is all from stress. As soon as I find out how I am going to pay for school I am sure these annoyances will disipate.

I did some more writing in Vermont over the weekend on my poetry as I find it helps me relax and get over my stresses and anxieties. I purchased two great journals over the weekend. so I can write more YEAH..

As for my current CMS project it seems like its a disaster waiting to happen. I though I could work with shale stone to create a spider web but its not happening the way I envisioned it. I did start it but its still wet. So as it dries I am hoping it looks ok to continue.. Autumn this project is driving me nutso.
If this current idea doesnt work then I am writing a three page essay on all of my personal dieties. IS that ok????????

I tried to register for school today and I can only register on august 13 so Patience is a vertue..

MY CMS class is all invited this wedenesday evening to the races in montreal at the hippodrome.. Miaka, Autumn, Fabiola as well. Please email or post your answers.

Well I am going for supper and then to bed early..

NO reading today but tomorrow is another day.

2003-07-07T13:30:00.000-04:00

As a result of schools being over I have more free time to post.
My Vertigo has seemed to gotten better over the weekend. It was a good thing because having veritgo and migranes is a horrible illness to have. You feel nausiated and your head is spinning at the same time. Even when your eyes are closed which makes my vertigo scary.

Anyhow Summer is as I said a slow month for me. I will write when I get inspired to. Mind you I have not touched my Philisophical manuscript in quite awhile. Right now the main theme is about meditation and life beyond this world. No not outter space but in our dream world. I will probably look at it Thursday during the day.

Wednesday after 1 I will start to work on my CMS project.. I have decided to create a spider web totaly made out of shale stone and clay. Thus representing creativity, path work, and one form of G-Ddess worship that being arachnea. Yes as previous mentioned I am an eclectic pagan.
_____________________________________________________________
Wednesday Night I am off to the race track to see "The Casino Kid", hopefully do well this time. The Entry for the race is posted below.

3 -- Trot, purse $20,000 (DD, EX, QU, TR)
SERIE QUEBEC PLUS - ELITE - PAS DE RETENTION
2 ANS TROT POULAINS - FRAIS DE DEPART 400$

1 De Retour S Brosseau F Lussier 3-1
2 Canbec Bazouka S Filion L Tourigny 2-1
3 The Casino Kid R Jones R Jones 5-1
4 Sos Global Vision S Lacaille N Masse 6-1
5 Magoo J Hebert J Smith 4-1
6 Speedometer M Lachance M Lachance 7-1
7 Jolicoeur Jo G Lamy P Lacharite 9-2

Results will be posted Wednesday Night at 11:00 P.M.

2003-07-06T21:50:00.000-04:00

Vermont was exactly what I needed to regenerate myself.. It was nice and relaxing.. I was glad to get back to nature and find pure energy and enlightement. I finally made a five year plan and I hope it will commence this comming year. I am really excited about it as well. I want to start and complete my B.A. in Religion and my minor in Education.
Then find a job and take a B.A. in either theology studies and or Anthropology. OF course when I am working so I can pay for the courses. So those courses will be taken at night..

As far as life goes well not bad now.. I finally got over the low point of life last week and things look alot brighter now than before.

Vermont is a beautiful state that needs to be seen by everyone.. There are a great many antique stores on Route 7. Or you can try and see where the moose are or go on lake champlain canoeing and or kayaking. Loads of fun.. For me just being near water cheered me up.

But yes I still cant wait for the autumn season with kooler temperatures leaves turning colour and best of all no humidity.

I hope everyone had a great Canada day and a great fourth of July.

Peace.

2003-07-04T11:57:00.000-04:00

HI all.. Well I am off to the MPRC ( Montreal Pagan Resource Center) for my 1-4:30 shift today. Then I am off to Vermont for rest relaxation and hopefully recuperation from these nasty migranes and vertigo attacks. This weekend is also desicison time for me.. I will find out answers to a few important items in my life this week.
I hope they are all good decisions. But the future only knows about that. While in Vermont I actually might sleep outside on the lawn and take in all of the splendor of mother nature. I hope that I can be successful at obtaining that goal. I will certainly try.

No news on the school front for my marks yet.. Come on Concordia where the heck are you with them.. POST POST POST them already..

There was major advancement in my Weston research this week. Thanks to an email I recieved from another fellow researcher who is researching her family.. I would like to thank Pat for all her hard work.. Its greatly apprecaited and Weston is glad that you are part of our family..

Thats all for now.. Have a great fourth of July everyone.

2003-07-03T21:27:00.000-04:00

I am reading several interesting books at the same time.
Here is the list;

1. The Sacred Chain ( a history of the Jews)
By Norman F. Cantor

2. Black fire on White Fire.
By Betty rojtman

3. Illuminations ( a mystical meditation on the Hebrew alphabet)
( The healing of the soul )
by Dolores Ashcroft - Nowicki

4. Hebrew symbols in Greco Roman Time. I will post the author at a later date.

All wonderful books that puts aspects of the Jewish culture together as well as rips them appart so that you can allow yourself to make conclusions as you wish.

2003-07-03T21:21:00.000-04:00

HI all What a depressing week.. Nothing worked well and I feel really low.. All schools have come to a close and I feel as if I have nothing to do.. I am going to start to write again but I need more activities in my life. Things will change at the end of august that I know.

I still havent reciieved my marks yet and I really hope they post them shortly I am getting anxious and nervous all at the same time. Health wise it has been a bad week my migrane headachs have come back and they dont feel nice when I get them.. I just hope they go away soon. I just hope I am going to be able to get through this uneventfull summer. I keep saying 6 weeks left until summer is over then I will be happy.. Yes I am a fall type of person. I always have been. Fall is one of my most favorite times of the year next to October. But yes this is a fall month also.

2003-06-26T07:14:00.000-04:00

Well classes are done finally. I had my last class yesterday and it felt great to acomplish a successfull grade. Although I will find out my marks only in a couple of weeks I know already that I did rather well. The class was enjoyable and I met some new peoples. So all in all life is going pretty well.

IT is 7:00 in the A.M. and I have been up since 5:30. ITs too hot to sleep and its to hot to eat. So I will do some reading and install my new air conditioner which my father purchased for me.. YES I am one of the lucky ones.

Then off to the hospital and the MPRC for 11A.M. shift. Then I have the afternoon free to start my much awaited CMS Crescent Moon School final readings and responses.

On some personal notes I have done some more self introspection and found some interesting things. I believe I am part Gypsy with a strong connection to the G-D Rua and Volos and Arachnea. This is guiding my magikal and religious path for along time ever since I was a kid. I always had dreams that I was falling into deep a deep abyss. Some one told me that this is quite shamanistic. But I am still uncertain as to why this has happend to me. Therefore I am always looking for answers to these question. As this is a life love and struggle.

Thats it.

Have a wonderful day.

2003-06-21T20:37:00.000-04:00

Well I have no clue if anyone reads this but I am posting anyways.
Time to get a counter I guess.. But I am not Web savvy.

ITs crunch time for exams so I am busy trying to write my two exams (Essays) and two readers responses which are all due on Wednesday. So needless to say I am having so much fun. Oh well a life of a student.. At least my grades are getting alot better. Thanks sis I owe you bigtime..

I had my second to last CMS class today and it was fun.. I made some more connections to life when I was a kid.. I know I am in my 30's now so why are you conserned with life when you were a kid.. Well it has somthing to do with what I am studying about now. Once I found out the connection I knew I was supposed to be on
this path that I am on now.. It only took awhile to actually make the connection.. LIfe has
funny ways of working out.

Anyhow its one of the rare saturdays where its not raining in this city so we had CMS class outside today.. That was really fun and quick also.Speaking of sunny and hot.. It is after all the first day of LITHA.. summer to those of you who are not pagan.
yes Summer came in at 5:30 in the A.M. today with a bang than the g-ds. I cant believe that in two weeks its going to be July already.. Time just goes by so fast.

Well thats all for now.

2003-06-15T15:56:00.000-04:00

Hi All Just another busy week in the life of Albatross.. I cant wait until school is finished..
Soon with only four classes left and four assignments and an exam to complete this semester will be over..

ONTO a Rant now.. May I ask what the purpose is of having Holidays such as Mother's Day and Father's Day. IS the only purpose so that card shops like Hallmark and Carelton Cards can get even more money off of us. Or is there a true aspect to holidays such as this.. Kids no matter what age should honour their parents. Yes there are exceptions to every rule. But Most cases parents are ok to children.. So why should we kids not honour them more often except just once a year.. Besides I went in to purchase three cards today and it cost me 15 $ including tax. The money is not the object its the thought.. Why cant people just be creative in showing appreciation to parents and family. Have these past generations lost the touch to be creative in showing anysigns of affection towards people? I usually write a nice message on a blank card but this year I broke down and purchased a card.. As I need my creative juices for class work wich is more important. I guess card shops will always win out in the end.

END RANT..
To all those moms and fathers out there have fun and raise your kids well. They are our most important resource.

2003-06-05T23:21:00.000-04:00

Hi All I know I havent been writing as much as I would like to the past month. I have been really busy with school work that takes priority these days..
My marks are improving slowly as each week progresses, so I am really pleased with my work ethic these days.. If only I have worked harder in my younger days.. Oh well.. We live and learn from mistakes of the past.. It helps when you are enjoying the class also.. Except for her monotone voice but otherwise she will be a fine teacher.. As far as regular life goes MPRC trainging is over and I have had two weeks of shifts there already..
all is going well. Weston volunteer is over for the year only to start up again in September when the new school year commences. I am looking forward to it.

The poetry writing is coming along nicely.. I might be published in an anthology so I am pretty excited about that.. I hope it will be true and worth the wait..

The horses we have are slowly starting to qualify and strut there stuff. Hopefully we will have a good season this year.. So far things look promising especially for a two year old colt that we have named The Casino Kid. The names of the two year olds are always odd to hear at first but we slowly get used to the new names and faces at the race track.. Hey they are really still babies and dont know what to do on the track yet.. Yes they have all this training inside them but they are still animals who can be spooked really easily.

CMS classes are going well. We are going to be talking about Monotheistic g-ds and g-ddess.. Dont ask me how that works out just yet as I only have the class on Saturday.. So before you email me and say NOT possible.. Wait until saturday please email me after 5.P/M
thank you..

Other than that thats it.. Bye for now.

2003-05-26T23:38:00.000-04:00

The past week has been quite busy with School ( University ) and Saturdays 18 week intensive course have been taking up alot of my time.. I am enjoying them though tremendously, but I need a vacation. The courses are not relaxing as one might think there is a great deal of preparation and reading for each of them. But with out the work there is no knowledge..

These days I am studying the Jewish religion from a different perspective. I am looking at it from a pre Hellenic/Cannanite prospective. How did Judiasm change from those times to now? At what time did Hasidim come into play and how much of an affect did it have on the rest of Judiasm? Is there a place for mystical matter in Judiasm besides the Kabbalah? (Occult status) Or is there only one pure form of practicing Judiasm? Questions that need to be answered (Yes ) But How....... Other question which have been brought to my attention are
How did Humans get from practicing Goddess worship during prehistoric man to practicing (God) Worship or the male Diety? Where did the switch occur and why? What factors were important in making this switch and why? Or did the Romans have such control over Humanity at that time that this was the way (we) had to practice?? Its just quite amazing how taking this 18 week CMS intensive class has done. Its just opened my eyes completely I feel I am on a different plain and on a good path... (Scarlet, Autumn ) Thank you....

2003-05-20T18:26:00.000-04:00

With the passing of last weeks Lunar eclipse that was photographed by me during that evening I have had them developed and printed. I finally picked them up today and I have ten to twelve great shots of the Eclipse. I was very suprised to say the least because I was using a pretty low quality film for that evening. But there is a reason for everything I guess.. It brought back the passion for photographing nature scenes. Especially moon shots which have been a favorite of mine. I will keep it as a hobby. Well thats it..

2003-05-16T22:08:00.000-04:00

Oh wow.. I take a look at the date of my last post and say oh my gosh.. I cant believe I havent posted for for about a week. Needless to say this week flew by for me. Lots of things are happening in my life these days. All being very good. I started classes on Monday and Wednesdays this week for the next month.. I have not attended a university class lecture in quite a long time.. I totally forgot how fast university professors actually lecture. I managed to listen and jot down the major points of the lecture and made some great connections while doing that. The class is Nature and Religion 398I if anyone cares out there.. The lecturer is taking an interesting point of view that being has nature progressed religion or has religion progressed nature?? It should be a good class and I have till Wednesday to complete my first assignment.. I still have to do the readings for it, I still have plenty of time.. I hope.....

As for other lifes duties and obligations well I am back at Weston school and they would like for me to plan our Golf Tournament. So I have a bit of planning to do that for the end of October or beginning September. I started volunteering at the MPRC. Which is quite interesting especially when I can do reading on my topics of interest when I am there.. That being Judeo Pagan Philosophy and religion. Mixed in with Norse Runes, bits of alchemy, and divination techniques and a bit of Kabballah. I cant wait to be there full time so I can read and study..

My health is slowly improving I am close to 85 % better than my last posted entry. Colds and flus usually take a long time with me to recover. Oh well. But I cant believe I am doing all this with only being 85% better.. I was never like this as a kid.. Well I guess times change.

Our Mother Earth put on a wonderful show for us last night. The Lunar Eclipse was just amazing to watch.. I wound up taking two rolls of film which will be ready to view on Monday. With of course me getting the first viewing. I hope the photographs came out good. I have some doubt about the quality of the shot because I only used a 400 speed film instead of 800-1000 speed film. I used the largest apature with the hopes of getting the largest amount of light. No flash cause whats the point. What are you going to brighten up when the moon is already the brightest object in the sky. So that is life up till this point. Enjoy the read..

Albatross.

2003-05-09T13:36:00.000-04:00

I am finally feeling 80% better than I was on Tuesday morning. So much better that I am actually excite for my three classes that are coming up this week starting early tomrrow A.M.
Things are finally moving towards normalcy for me that is. I wound up needing to skip to doses of Coumadin in order to bring down the INR level. ( Blood Clotting Lelvel). It is now at a normal range. Thankfully. I have another blood test coming up in two weeks just to double check how I am fairing. There is hope.

speaking of hope..

HOPE

Fleeting glimpses of time caught on a single ray of light.
Seen by only us as we glance up on a calm night.
Visions of moments let us get caught up in our small lives.
To only see our storied lives beyond our dreams.
© lawrence L, 2003...

Otherwise life is finally returning to normal.
YAY..

2003-05-06T14:42:00.000-04:00

Well what a horrible experience I had early morning on tuesday. I was rushed to the hospital because I had a sever bleed. As a result of this medication I am on I no longer coagulate like normal people. As a result my blood is thinner than most other people which is very annoying to me. As a result I have to have blood tests on a bi monthly or monthly basis in order to regulate this medication. NIne hours of clotting time from 10 P.M. the previous night until I got home at around 7 A.M. The Medical staff at the hospital wound up doing nothing for me except a much needed blood test. Revealing that the coagulation of my blood was higher than normal. Thus the result was over bleeding. Thankfully it has stopped and I go in for another bloodtest on Thursday where I will be re evaluated. Hopefully there will be a better result. But boy it was a scary night.

2003-05-05T00:18:00.000-04:00

Thank goodness this cold is almost gone. I am going to take it easy during the week and start back to normal life rather slowly. I will do my research at the library and some other errands and thats about it. Perhaps write some more also. One of my goals is to write 75 poems in a two year time period. I currently have 30 written. so that makes 45 to go. Now I just need inspiration and my muses to kick in.. Perhaps after this cold I will get inspired to write.. I certainly hope so.

2003-05-02T19:27:00.000-04:00

Why am I called Albatross..
The Albatross is a extinct bird in the population of just under 5,000,000 birds. However these numbers are slowly dwindeling down because of Longlining. A form of Fishing known through out the world. In order for these birds to thrive we as humans have to find different ways of longlining. Before you purchase your next fish just think how they caught it and brough it to your grocer. The Albatross is a quick low flying bird with great skill and talent at sea. Those of you who know me well know that I have hidden talents as well. Lets try and save these gracefull birds.

Most albatrosses and several other seabird species are heading for extinction.
They are being unintentionally drowned in large numbers by "longline" fishing boats. Longlining is the single greatest threat to the world's seabirds. Much of it is carried out by "pirate" fishing boats.
BirdLife's Save the Albatross Campaign is trying to stop the needless slaughter of these magnificent birds by ensuring that relevant international agreements are implemented that will benefit both the birds and the legal fishing industry.
On the following pages find out about the problem, its solutions, BirdLife's Campaign and how you can help.
There is a horse named Albatross in the field of Harness Racing. This Horse was the father of many world champions. He was a prolific producer of solid race horses who went on to be succeses on both racing careers and breeding sheds. HIs offspring have earned alot of money over the years. Making Albatross one of the most money richest sires of all time. Most of the female horses that I own are out of an Albatross cross.

2003-05-02T15:53:00.000-04:00

well I trecked out while still sick to pick up this car. I recieved a call this morning and the repair shop told me the car was ready. I asked them what the porblem was and they told me it was a faulty instilation of the Kill switch by the company where I had got it done at. I said oh great. Meanwhile it cost me an arm and a leg to figure out what the problem was with the Vehicle. Electrical car issues usually tend to be very expensive. Gosh darn computers..
have a great weekend all. While I am sick and staying home.
Have a great beltane fair and Holiday.

2003-05-01T22:34:00.000-04:00

I am still sick.. I did not get a winter cold this year as I fought it off.. This springtime cold is driving me nuts because I have so much to do. Apparently from people who have had this cold tell me that it lasts for three weeks. UGh I really dont want it to last that long..
I need positive healthy energy.
Be well all.

2003-04-30T17:28:00.000-04:00

OH I cant believe how sick I got this week. I am just going to try and get over this flue/cold and other yuckie stuff. I hope I am alot better for Saturday so I can help out at the fair.
Fokes if I cant I will let you know rather Late on Friday p.m.
Signing in from bed..
Albatross.

2003-04-29T16:06:00.000-04:00

Well all I just got some disturbing news today from a family member who lives in Florida.
It turns out that one of my family members was called up in the U.S. Reserve force and is now in Iraq. Her duties will last for 8- 10 months as an MP. Military Police person.
Needless to say I was in shock when my cousin told me about this. I hope she is fairing well and that she comes home safe and sound. Best of luck to her..

2003-04-28T17:49:00.000-04:00

HI all. a quick update on the automobile situation. I finally have my car back.. It turned out that I had an electrical glitch to the car when they installed the kill switch. It turns out that you need to reporgram everything when you install a kill switch.. It was a pain But I am happy that it was nothing serious.

2003-04-26T23:46:00.000-04:00

Shadows I see so swift they be
old and wise though aught to be.
flying round our heads to turn
making sure of us to spurn
so on to life we must burn
Instead of counting us some sheep.
The waking world we see to sleep.
We see few beings in the dark
but those we do guide us apart
the path we seek must not depart.
reasons come to us we seek
when we count ourselves to sleep.
Day to day and night to night
Lessons burned to seek the light. so bright.
LIfe is love so bright and might.
truth is whole to make our soul.

© lawrence L, 2002-11-23

2003-04-26T23:30:00.000-04:00

Saturday ah what a relaxing day. Finally after a busy week of running around I had a chance to relax and just catch up on some well deserved sleep.
Hope everyone is doing well and have a great upcoming week.

2003-04-25T23:48:00.000-04:00

I talked to my sister who lives in downtown Toronto. She works in the Toronto General Hospital in the Fundraising part of the building. She is telling me that the News organizations are blowing this SARS warning totally out of proportion. The Toronto General Hospital is dealing with this world epidemic quite well. Those people infected with SARS are located in a different wing of the Hospital and on a different ventelation system.. The doctors are gloved, masked,gowned,foot boots and the patients are in hypobaric chambers. ( I think thats the correct spelling someone email me if it is not thanks) This WHO warning on Toronto is exaggerated and unwarrented. Leave it to the MEDIA to blow everything out of proportion just for a news story. THIS HAS BEEN YOUR UPDATE FROM ALBATROSS TUTTLE SIGNING OFF.

2003-04-24T22:44:00.000-04:00

Poem By Charlotte Bronte.

Life

Life, believe, is not a dream
   So dark as sages say;
Oft a little morning rain
   Foretells a pleasant day.
Sometimes there are clouds of gloom,
   But these are transient all;
If the shower will make the roses bloom,
       O why lament its fall ?
           Rapidly, merrily,
        Life's sunny hours flit by,
           Gratefully, cheerily,
        Enjoy them as they fly !

What though death at times steps in
   And calls our best away ?
What though sorrow seems to win,
   O'er hope, a heavy sway ?
Yet hope again elastic springs,
   Unconquered, though she fell;
Still buoyant are her golden wings,
       Still strong to bear us well.
          Manfully, fearlessly,
       The day of trial bear,
          For gloriously, victoriously,
       Can courage quell despair !

2003-04-24T22:18:00.000-04:00

Update. I am just fit to be tied today. I think my transmition on my 6 day old car just blew. I have no clue what happend but the rpm's is skipping. when I rev that usually means a bad transmition. UGh I know its on warrantee but its a real pain and a loss of time to the dealership. IF the transmition can not be fixed then I get a brand new car from the dealer. I hope. I will keep you all posted.

2003-04-24T18:22:00.000-04:00

I had the Weston School fundraiser last night at the molson brewrey Mission.. The Hall was suprisingly a nice place. Considering the part of town its located in. My sense of direction is needless to say poor but I found the place with no problem. ( thank Goodness) It was great night with lots of shmoozing and bidding on auction prizes. I wound up being the final bidder on Allouette tickets in the gold section for an awsome bid at 150$. I am hoping to take my father to the game as it is the week of his birthday. We can have a father and son night out and it should be fun. The school finally raised about 8-10,000 $ with only inviting 100 people. Which is a pretty good figure.. We are looking for more people to attend our annual golf tournament in the summer months. Life these days is pretty good.

2003-04-22T17:07:00.000-04:00

Today will be a day to remember. I have been reaquainted with my old elementary school now for the past 6 months. Working in the capacity of Alumni Specialist and research analyst of the school history. Today the Principal tells me that if I want a board position I can have one. This is a huge step for me as I have never done anything like this. It will be a great learning experience for me and I am looking forward to getting that school a better reputation than it has today.. IT is going to be a challenge but I am up to it.. HEY the people who know me best know I am a fighter and that I stick to my guns. This has truely been a day to remember.

2003-04-20T17:00:00.000-04:00

The white Light we seek so bright.
is that judgement or is that our fight
will not know until that day
when he calls to take all of us away.
He prays with us for our kin
forging our bond within him.

Kin folk thinks that you are nuts
for following the path of light and trust.
tight you are wound within
release is near and you will win.
Faith must come as judgement nears
and ye will see all instead of disappear.

Bright white yellow and blue
ground you to the earth that you knew.
as freedom is truth you shall know
light is clarity that you adore
so let freedom burst on to thee
but free must be thee.

© lawrence L, 2002-11-23

2003-04-20T16:58:00.000-04:00

well it was a birthday week this week and unfortunatly it was Holiday time to. So All I did was relax and do a bit of a retrospective thinking as to how my life is going. These days its going pretty well and I can not complain. I feel that I am heading in the right direction and that I also feel happy today. Some people say I might be nuts but who cares.. I know I am doing well today and thats all that matters. I would like to thank alot of people who helped put me on the right track, Autumn, Scarlet and T.A. thank you from the Bottom of my heart to the tip of my head. Thank you To my early tutors when I was a kid , to the Doctors who saved my life Thank you for getting me through
the rough times. IT is my time to shine.

2003-04-16T23:04:00.000-04:00

You will be seeing many poems on this site written by the three Bronte sisters.. Call it a cultural site of my varying outlooks on life if you will. I love their styles of writing and the Bronte poems just speak to me.. I was introduced to the works as a young lad and I have been reading them ever since. So with out any delay here is the first in a series of "Bronte works"

HOPE

by: Emily Brontë (1818-1848)

HOPE Was but a timid friend;
She sat without the grated den,
Watching how my fate would tend,
Even as selfish-hearted men.

She was cruel in her fear;
Through the bars one dreary day,
I looked out to see her there,
And she turned her face away!

Like a false guard, false watch keeping,
Still, in strife, she whispered peace;
She would sing while I was weeping;
If I listened, she would cease.

False she was, and unrelenting;
When my last joys strewed the ground,
Even Sorrow saw, repenting,
Those sad relics scattered round;

Hope, whose whisper would have given
Balm to all my frenzied pain,
Stretched her wings, and soared to heaven,
Went, and ne'er returned again!

2003-04-16T18:07:00.000-04:00

Well now that I have calmed down a bit from this afternoons nonsense I can wish everyone who reads this a good easter weekend or a good passover holiday. Enjoy the festivities and all the eats that goes with it.. Its time to relax and be with family.

2003-04-16T16:56:00.000-04:00

I am just fit to be tied today. Although a good day in general I was dealing with automobile insurance companies most of the afternoon.. I just recently leased a Protege from Mazda which requiers insurance. The women I speak to has over 20 years of experience but can not understand that I am registering the car under a company name. Thus the address for my insurance has to be where the company name is registered. She tells me that I have to have the name of the insurance where I am living. But that is not where the Company does its work as it is in an office in Westmount. I have no idea what the end result was but safe it is to say that I do have insurance for said new vehicle. I hate insurance people....

2003-04-15T23:40:00.000-04:00

I guess I can add a poem to the site also. One that I wrote and has a great deal of meaning for me. Time.

Time moves all around us.
time collapses through us
back and forth time goes
does time stop no one knows.

Time does start each day
yet time ends each night.
time keeps continuing
and going until we get it right.

Forward yet back but we dont see.
Forgetfullness seems to be the key.
Convenience is that a fact
liife is still motion and time is still.
We can't seem to get it back.

Time is precious and so is life
so treat time with all its charm
rewards will be down the road.
Harm none in the process so ye will.
Forget the nots as time is right
the paths that come unto fold
leads to choice as yet untold.
the future here is now and far
winding down this ever road.
Life
(c) Albatross Tuttle

2003-04-15T23:27:00.000-04:00

I guess I will start off with a conflict article I wrote when the U.S. invaded Iraq.

World War Three Scenario..

The year 2003 is going to be marked by one word and that word is WAR..
The definition of WAR by the websters dictionary is “Armed conflict”. Two relatively simple words. The definition of Armed is a combat branch equipped with weapons.
The definition of Conflict is clash, battle and antagonize.

The world in 2003 has seen all of these words come into play.. We have the Israeli Arab conflict, in which you have two opposing sides antagonizing one another throughout the ages. Those antagonizings have coming to a head this year, In the worst period of recent world history between the two cultures and relgions.

Another example of countries antagonizing one another is the united states and Iraq.
The U.S. emphasizes the fact that Saddam Hussien has stored Wepons of Mass Destruction however little or no proof of evidence has yet to be found. Whatever your oppinion is about this claim, the world needs to know the truth about the Iraqi government envolvement with weapons of mass destruction, It is the worlds survival that depends on this decision to go to war or not to go to war?

The third Conflict is located on the Korean pininusla. Where the North is antagonizing the south and the rest of the world with the build up of its nuclear armament. Every country has the right to take up arms and defend itself, but Nuclear Weapons carries greater damage to the human kind and our outlook onto the planet as a whole.. Decisions that the elected officials take on our behalf must be the correct ones in order to save humanity..
We are as humanity are on the brink of a possible World war three scenario with Nuclear capabilities on all sides that can have sever destructive outcomes for generations to come. What will this impact have on our kids? How will they view this time in history? We must make
every attempt to have peace. Peace is in our hands ..

(c) Albatross Tuttle

2003-04-15T23:25:00.000-04:00

I have had a heck of a couple of weeks trying to track down all my transcripts from the various educational institutions that I have gone to over the past years.. I now have all of the transcripts in one place finally. With much relief I mailed off the application form to Concordia and they tell me that I have to wait two to three months before I find out if I am accepted into this program or not. I will be on pins and needles waiting with anticipation. How come they take so long?

2003-04-15T23:23:00.000-04:00

Albatross Tuttle is now on line.. This is going to be a site about the life of me. I am going to be posting poems and articles about world events and personal thoughts. I hope you will enjoy and provide feedback when asked. Enjoy the site..